Sensory Overload in Motherhood: A neuroaffirming guide to calm for Overstimulated Moms
Why you’re feeling overstimulated as a mom
The transition into the postpartum period is a massive shift for your nervous system. Between sleep deprivation and the constant noise and chaos, many moms find that the demands of motherhood create a state of permanent overstimulation. If you feel like sensory input—the sound of a cry, the smell of milk, or the feeling of being "touched out"—is becoming a trigger, you aren't alone.
Physical Symptoms of Being Touched Out
You recoil and feel irritated or annoyed when touched
muscle tension or pain, like in your neck and shoulders, without any apparent reason
You wake up tired even though you have slept, you feel like you’re just dragging yourself
You have trouble falling asleep even though you try, or you wake up in the middle of the night and you are incapable of going back to sleep
Emotional and Mental Signs of Being touched out
You feel emotionally drained or numb, like you are living on auto pilot
You feel on edge about every aspects of parenting causing you anxiety
You feel like your having even more trouble focusing or making choices, which is already a issue for those with ADHD
Feeling alone even when you are with your partner and kids
You fantasise about running away
Your sensory input is becoming hard to manage, you can’t handle loud noises, or bright lights, or intense smells
The Science Behind Maternal Overstimulation and "Touched Out" Motherhood
Your body and mind are designed to respond to your infant, but when the mental load combines with constant physical touch, your nervous system can enter a "fight or flight" state. This sensory experience is even more intense for those with sensory processing sensitivity, ADHD and Autism, or those recovering from a difficult birth. Understanding that your symptoms of overstimulation are a physiological response—not a lack of love—is the first step toward self-compassion.
In my own personal postpartum experience after the traumatic birth of my twins, and unknowingly being AuDHD, I struggled with this exact same thing, for me it showed up as the need to try and control all the factors around me, making the house always tidy, sticking to strict routines for my daughters, never stopping, afraid of the constant inner turmoil and overwhelm that I felt, struggling with sensory overload and unable to find any emotional regulation. No one knew how much I was struggling internally, I looked like a super mom, dealing with twins that seem to have all the things, like colics, bad sleeping and so on.
In my practice I hear other versions of my story, new mothers share, with a sense of guilt and shame, that they love their baby, but they just feel like that they cant cope no more, they feel overwhelmed, and the comparison that is always looming, makes these feelings even more intensified. They are either comparing themselves to a member of their family, a friend or what often social media portraits.
And so, the shame spiral begins. Wanting some time alone, then having that time alone and feeling the guilt of having it.
Another very common experience that I hear time and time again, are those moms that simply cannot afford, either because they don’t have a support system nearby or they are already so economically stretched that they can’t also afford to hire that support. So they soldier on and do what they can, then at night, instead of sleeping to try and recover some energy for the following day, they stay up late at night, doom scrolling, watching a series, doing whatever they never have time during the day. What they don’t realise is that this is a form of self-sabotaging. The lack of sleep eventually feeds into the emotional dysregulation, intensifying the feeling of feeling touched out, overwhelmed and shame.
The culture of pushing harder and just pushing through the discomfort, makes it harder for many new mothers to seek for help, and while It is important to know that this is a phase and soon your baby will grow and things will become easier, we need to incorporate some strategies to down regulate, because when your nervous system keeps living in the state of fight or flight for prolonged periods, this can develop into panic attacks, burnout, anxiety disorder or postpartum depression.
Coping Strategies for Immediate Relief: Sensory Reset Tools
When it feels like too much, you need strategies for overstimulated moments and reset your nervous system.
The 5-4-3-2-1 Grounding Technique: Take a moment to notice: What are five things you can see and four things you can touch, three things you can hear, what are two things that you can smell, and what is one things that you can taste, to come back to the present moment
The cold reset Hold a cold cloth or cold water bottle to your neck or cheeks while feeding or rocking your baby, this helps interrupt the stress response and aloow for some positive sensory stimulation, to help bring your body back to calm
Find a minute to do some box breathing Inhale for 4, hold for 4, exhale for 4. You can do this while your baby is latched, bottle feeding or resting on your chest
No time to meditate, try this instead slow rocking while focusing on your breath, gentle stretching while baby is on the mat, walking laps while baby is in the stroller, soft swaying or humming while holding your baby
Reduce Sensory Overload: Use noise-canceling headphones during high-stress times or a short walk to change your environment.
Set Boundaries: It is okay to ask for help from family and friends for practical support so you can have quiet time each day.
Create a safe space for when your overstimulated chaos and clutter play havoc on a already overstimulated nervous system, fueling the feelings of overwhelm, create a little corner where the lighting is soft, the smells are pleasant so you can practice some deep breathing and you have your favourite stimming tools
Be mindful of your clothing when breastfeeding think comfortable and soft to the touch clothing, hair up so that your baby can’t pull on it, a weighted bean shoulder pad that you can warm up to distract you from the uncomfortable stimulation, and help you with the shoulder tension
Use a aromatherapy roll on and add it to your wrists so you can easily can have access and take a deep breath when needed
Neuro-Affirming Support in Málaga and Online
Dont wait to seek out professional help if you are struggling with stress and overwhelm, you deserve a calm nervous system, you and your baby that strives through motherhood, you deserve better postpartum support.
In my practice as a perinatal coach and counsellor, I help you move beyond generic self-care on your journey of becoming a mom. Whether you are dealing with postpartum anxiety or simply struggling with the challenges of motherhood, we work together to help regulate your nervous system through a trauma-informed lens, so you can regain a sense of calm and confidence .
